A lot has happened but whatever. Blogging still feels like an afterthought, but right now I feel mentally fresh after a nice weekend in Madrid.
I feel very excited to work, and a little bit suffocated by my lovely social life in NYC. So goodbye to everyone, see you next year!
Just kidding, it never works that way.
I'm an Editor now, not a Curator. That's a thing that happened. I also seem to be a screenwriter, hopefully a producer if all goes as planned.
I got asked if I'd want to do a residency in Berlin next year for a few months; at first I said I couldn't but then I realized I could and I sort of wanted to. I want to shoot this movie around Europe next and this would be the way to do it. I just have to get financing and figure out how to make a movie in Europe.
L from Madrid said he'd produce it if I wanted, and I think that would actually work. We haven't been friends for that long but he appears trustworthy and more capable than most. Most importantly, I think our friendship is based in mutual respect without much noise around like various transactions or something? Like I don't feel like he offered because he wants get to call himself a "producer." I think he just thinks it would be fun. But yeah, I guess I've been thinking about friendships that feel transactional versus ones that feel like they're purely forged out of enjoyment and respect or whatever. I don't like when the latter suddenly feels like the former and you're like wait I thought....
Anyway, I worry that this itch to get down to business will make me appear selfish or anti-social, but this kind of worry is something I'm really trying to get over. Sometimes it just be like that. And more than anything, that's the game I'm in. If I don't follow the instinct then the work won't get done.
I'm listening to Steely Dan's Gaucho for some reason. There was this Pitchfork piece about it. I'm really enjoying it. I feel so well rested after 10 hrs of sleep, 3 hrs of plane sleep, 2 hrs of post-party almost-sleep in the last day-ish.
My weekend feels like a huge blur and maybe kind of like a dream. Someday, when my Madrid friends visit New York, whenever that may be, they will stop feeling like apparitions. They especially feel imaginary because I like them so much and it's so easy to hang out with them and they are enthusiastic about hanging out with me. Like usually I have all this social anxiety, but in Madrid it's surprisingly easy. Maybe it's because their group remind me of my friends at home with their insularity, long histories, and quite brutal senses of humor ha.
Anyway, a nice time. I am happy to be home, and glad its the holidays so that things will be quiet and I won't be fighting with myself for alone time.
