At 745am I was awoken by the sound of something repeatedly slamming into my bedroom window. I crossed the room and saw that there was a collared dove perched on the fire escape staring back at me. I expected a body but there were no carcasses in sight. The bird stayed there, looking past me with a sort of glazed expression. Birds always look kind of glazed, I guess, but it seemed particularly unfocused and unconcerned.

A few months ago, something similar happened, but this time a pigeon dropped from what must have been very high up in the sky judging from the force of its landing. It crashed, essentially, completely decapitated.

I immediately freaked out, mentally running through the scenario of trying to get the landlord to have someone remove it. I called her and she said that recently she'd had to have the handyman remove one from under the stoop; she would try to get ahold of him.

After we spoke, a giant brown and white hawk swept onto the fire escape. Its landing was like in an action movie, where a villain lands with a sweeping noise and there is sort of this hissing atmosphere and the fight is about to be on and cracking. Anyway, the hawk tried to take the body, which I guessed she had dropped in the first place, but she saw me in the window and took off. I went back to writing and waiting for the landlord to call back. Finally, the hawk returned; she swooped without landing and the carcass was gone after that.

I took my braids out last night and now i feel naked and sort of like a calf or something. I wouldn't say that the braids bolster my personality, but going to sleep in two little twisted buns makes me feel like I must look comically vulnerable and somehow weakened. There is some strange air of chastity around going to bed with properly cared-for natural hair; it's hard to explain so I'll think about it more before trying.